I will start this out by saying I have not read Speak, although NOW I fully intend to.
I believe that banning books is wrong. It goes against everything I believe. I believe in freedom of speech and I see banning as a violation of that. I know that others would argue with me about that saying that the book has already been published so the author’s rights haven’t actually been violated. Yes, I understand that but taking the book out of circulation and not making it readily available seems to me to go against that right.
Let me back up a little and give some background. There is a minister, Wesley Scroggins, attempting to have a book by the name of Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson banned in his county. He claims the book is pornographic. I am really sad since this is happening in my home state of Missouri.
Now I am a Christian and I do understand where he is coming from. As a parent I chose to homeschool my children so I could guide them in a way that we feel is moral and I feel that school districts expose our children to too much too soon. He also points to other books and wants them banned as well. He claims the books show teens acting immorally and promotes teen sex. I remember being a teenager and I do remember that drinking and sex were part of high school. The children are being exposed to this. This is their life. The books they read are being honest. I know I am full of contradictions. ;)
Again I have not read the book yet but according to everything I have read the book is about a young lady dealing with being raped. The scenes he claims are pornographic are the rape scenes. According to Webster’s the definition of pornography is: the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement.
As someone who has been sexually assaulted I can tell you there is NOTHING sexually exciting or gratifying about rape. If this book can help someone get through that experience and maybe give them some hope then I am all for it! I wish I had been able to find some books when it happened to me.
I am confused as to why people even want to ban books. If you don’t want to read something…don’t. No one is forcing you to sit and read this book. It is not the place of the government or a school district to decide what people should and should not read. Why take the book away from everyone?
If a parent doesn’t want their child to read a book then they need to talk to their child and let them know why. There have been many times that I have already had to do this as a parent. My oldest daughter reads like I do. We devour books. When we go to the library she will get 4 books and have all read in less than 2 days. My husband and I would probably be described as strict and conservative. We are. I am not embarrassed to say this. I would like my daughters to stay young and innocent for as long as possible. Girls grow up too fast as it is (I will probably post about this later). So there have been many books that I have had her put back explaining that the material is too mature for her right now. She has never argued with me and knows that I am not telling her she can never read the book, just not yet. The Twilight series is good example. I didn’t let her read the first 2 books until just recently and have not let her read the final 2. My husband and I talked about it for a long time and have decided that she can read them after she turns 13. Not that anything explicit happens in them but there is enough sexual tension and mature themes that we felt she needed to wait.
Again we are not telling her she can never read them, just not yet. If a parent is concerned about a book that their child may be reading my best suggestion is to read it first and then make the decision. Don’t let someone else tell you what is right and what is wrong for you and your family.
Sorry for going on but this is unfair and unjust. End rant.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Always Remember
I know this is a day late but I wasn't originally going to post anything. So many others have written remembrances that I didn't think mine would add anything. I realized earlier though that the more people put it out there the less likely anyone is to forget. If you are looking for any to read I highly recommend author Meg Cabot's post about 9/11. I read it every year and it always makes me break down into tears.
Here is what I remember from that day.
I was a new mom for the third time. Sleep was still a rare thing in my house so I was taking full advantage of the fact that everyone in my household was blissfully sleeping. My phone rand annoying me to no end. WHY? Why did someone have to call and wake me up?!? I was so aggravated to have to answer the phone that I was very angry when I picked it up. It was my best friend.
"Is your t.v. on?"
"No"
"Turn it ON!"
I think I might have asked her what channel, not realizing that it didn't matter.
I remember the feelings as I watched everything happen. I remember watching Katie Couric and Matt Lauer talking and behind them the first tower was falling. I remember yelling at the t.v. telling them to turn around and to shut up. I know they couldn't hear me but it was the only response I could handle at the time. My husband and I sat in complete shock and then...the other tower fell and we both started crying. We had just watched emergency workers head into those buildings. We both knew that no one was going to survive that.
I remember the phone calls that day as everyone was trying to understand what was happening. One of my friends called to ask me whether she should go get her daughters out of school. My husband's work called to say they had closed his site just to be safe. They NEVER do that.
I remember sitting watching the t.v. all day feeling numb. My oldest daughter watched with me until I realized how young she was and that she shouldn't be watching as they replayed the plane crashing footage. She was not quite 4 years old. I never let her watch violence on t.v. but it just didn't occur to me. I couldn't comprehend what was going on. I remember her asking me if a plane was going to crash here, or if it would hit Nana and Papa's house, or daddy's work. She kept asking this for weeks terrified that every time daddy went to work he might not come home. She was young but the terrorists did their job.
I remember the gas hikes, people taking advantage of our fear. We were one of those who needed gas that night as we tried to go on with our lives and keep everything as normal as possible for our kids. Luckily my husband was able to find gas at a normal price but I remember the signs for $5 a gallon and the lines as people raced to get it.
I also remember complete strangers coming together and helping each other. Seeing the flags being flown at every house. Hugs from people I had never met and will probably never see again. We made it through that day and the weeks that followed.
My brother joined the army that year like so many other young men. I remember the fear I felt for him as he left for boot camp. The relief every time I see him, even now, knowing he is alright. I am so proud of him. I don't tell him that enough. I will try to do better.
My daughters don't remember much from that day. The younger two were too young and my oldest only has vague memories and I don't know how many are truly from that day or just from things she has seen or read since.
We have now made it nine years but when I see the footage from that day or read first-hand accounts about it, it all comes flooding back. Every time. Life has moved on but we should never forget.
Here is what I remember from that day.
I was a new mom for the third time. Sleep was still a rare thing in my house so I was taking full advantage of the fact that everyone in my household was blissfully sleeping. My phone rand annoying me to no end. WHY? Why did someone have to call and wake me up?!? I was so aggravated to have to answer the phone that I was very angry when I picked it up. It was my best friend.
"Is your t.v. on?"
"No"
"Turn it ON!"
I think I might have asked her what channel, not realizing that it didn't matter.
I remember the feelings as I watched everything happen. I remember watching Katie Couric and Matt Lauer talking and behind them the first tower was falling. I remember yelling at the t.v. telling them to turn around and to shut up. I know they couldn't hear me but it was the only response I could handle at the time. My husband and I sat in complete shock and then...the other tower fell and we both started crying. We had just watched emergency workers head into those buildings. We both knew that no one was going to survive that.
I remember the phone calls that day as everyone was trying to understand what was happening. One of my friends called to ask me whether she should go get her daughters out of school. My husband's work called to say they had closed his site just to be safe. They NEVER do that.
I remember sitting watching the t.v. all day feeling numb. My oldest daughter watched with me until I realized how young she was and that she shouldn't be watching as they replayed the plane crashing footage. She was not quite 4 years old. I never let her watch violence on t.v. but it just didn't occur to me. I couldn't comprehend what was going on. I remember her asking me if a plane was going to crash here, or if it would hit Nana and Papa's house, or daddy's work. She kept asking this for weeks terrified that every time daddy went to work he might not come home. She was young but the terrorists did their job.
I remember the gas hikes, people taking advantage of our fear. We were one of those who needed gas that night as we tried to go on with our lives and keep everything as normal as possible for our kids. Luckily my husband was able to find gas at a normal price but I remember the signs for $5 a gallon and the lines as people raced to get it.
I also remember complete strangers coming together and helping each other. Seeing the flags being flown at every house. Hugs from people I had never met and will probably never see again. We made it through that day and the weeks that followed.
My brother joined the army that year like so many other young men. I remember the fear I felt for him as he left for boot camp. The relief every time I see him, even now, knowing he is alright. I am so proud of him. I don't tell him that enough. I will try to do better.
My daughters don't remember much from that day. The younger two were too young and my oldest only has vague memories and I don't know how many are truly from that day or just from things she has seen or read since.
We have now made it nine years but when I see the footage from that day or read first-hand accounts about it, it all comes flooding back. Every time. Life has moved on but we should never forget.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Tick Tock...I'm hearing the clock
My ovaries hurt.
Tick tock. I'm hearing the clock.
I had my children early in my life. I was only 18 when my first daughter was born and barely 22 when my third and final daughter graced us with her presence. I was done! Three girls within 3 1/2 years was plenty. At the time just the thought of having another child sent me screaming and hiding under my bed. Life was crazy at that time so my husband and I made the decision that we would "fix" the problem. My husband manned up and did the deed. All was well and life evened out and got easier as the kids got older. Well maybe not easier but easier to deal with.
I don't feel nearly as out of control as I did when they were young. Diapers, feedings, potty training, strollers, cribs, and the occasional spit up kept me on my feet. I remember falling into bed every night thinking it would never end. It has.
I miss it.
Man that clock is loud.
I want a baby.
The rational side of my brain is telling me I really don't. Deal with morning sickness and labor? Do I really want to go back to all the sleepless nights? Do I want to change diapers? Carry around a car seat and all the other paraphernalia that comes with a baby? No.
Unless I listen to my heart and that dang clock.
Tick tock. I'm hearing the clock.
I had my children early in my life. I was only 18 when my first daughter was born and barely 22 when my third and final daughter graced us with her presence. I was done! Three girls within 3 1/2 years was plenty. At the time just the thought of having another child sent me screaming and hiding under my bed. Life was crazy at that time so my husband and I made the decision that we would "fix" the problem. My husband manned up and did the deed. All was well and life evened out and got easier as the kids got older. Well maybe not easier but easier to deal with.
I don't feel nearly as out of control as I did when they were young. Diapers, feedings, potty training, strollers, cribs, and the occasional spit up kept me on my feet. I remember falling into bed every night thinking it would never end. It has.
I miss it.
Man that clock is loud.
I want a baby.
The rational side of my brain is telling me I really don't. Deal with morning sickness and labor? Do I really want to go back to all the sleepless nights? Do I want to change diapers? Carry around a car seat and all the other paraphernalia that comes with a baby? No.
Unless I listen to my heart and that dang clock.
Young adult? Are you kidding?
Hi, I'm a 31 year old mother of 3 girls and I read young adult fiction. There, I said it. Laugh, scoff, and snort if you must but I have my reasons.
Okay. So why do I read the books that I read?
First and foremost - Have you read it lately?? There are a LOT of really good books labeled young adult. The emotions that the characters are dealing with are intense and the authors don't hold back. These books may be geared towards teenagers but they resonate with a wider age group. Mockingjay, by Suzanne Collins, (in fact the whole Hunger Games trilogy) was completely gut wrenching. There is really no other way to describe it. I truly felt like my heart was being torn out of my chest and stomped on (in a good way). I read this book in 6 hours. I couldn't put it down. Everything Katniss went through in the previous books and to have even more hurt her? To have her whole world turned upside down and ripped apart and still be as strong as she needed to be? I would pray that I could be half as strong as her. She had moments of weakness and depression but is there anyone who could go through all she did and not fall apart a few times? There is not much else I can say about this book except, if you haven't read it yet go NOW and get the series! I mean it! Stop reading my blog and go read it.
Second - I'm not a prude but it is really refreshing to read a book and not have to read a sex scene every few pages. Now, don't get me wrong. I am all for some hot and heavy scenes but not in every book and not every chapter. This is not to say that EVERY young adult book is innocent and EVERY "adult" book is full of gratuitous sex. There have been many, and I mean many, young adult books that have some HOT scenes. There is a difference though. The "adult" fiction books tends to be more descriptive which as an adult and having experienced it I don't need it spelled out for me. Leave it to my imagination. I can piece it together. The Vampire Academy books by Richelle Mead comes to mind. If I remember correctly there is only one actual sex scene but there are many implied scenes but the sensuality that flows through the entire series tends to make me think cold showers are a good thing. ;)
Third - The romance. I read plenty of "adult" books in conjunction to my young adult books and a good majority of them have romance. I have to say though that the difference tends to be that "first love". I am a sucker for it. Who can't remember that feeling. You know it. The first time you truly felt you heart would stop and the world would end if you weren't with that ONE person. It's sweet and innocent and intense. You root for it I have noticed in many "adult" books the main character is jaded. She's been in love and lost it. She tends to hold back; not willing to give her entire self over. Teen characters who are feeling it for the first time are enthusiastic and if the author is a good storyteller you feel it and it's like experiencing that rush all over again. I love Sarah Dessen books for when I need that feeling. Her characters are very real to me and always going through difficulties in their lives. Some are the same issues I remember dealing with when I was 16 and some I have never had to deal with and pray that my daughters will never have to. The love isn't easy and it doesn't automatically fix everything which I appreciate. It's truthful.
Fourth - They are FUN! They have love, death, first kisses, rip-roaring adventure, vampires, werewolves, zombies, unicorns, pirates, magic, angels, demons, warlocks, fairies, and everything else you remember from childhood. When I want to go on a trip from my youthful imagination I can count on these books. Now, that's not to say I can't go on a great adventure with an "adult" book ( hello? Outlander? Earth's Children? The Stand? Just to name a few) but I always get the feeling that they are taking themselves maybe a little too serious. It's one of the reasons I love Cassandra Clare's books. They are witty, intelligent, and the characters are snarky and sarcastic. There is enough of a pop culture feeling to them but nothing so specific that will make them feel dated anytime soon. Her latest book is Clockwork Angel. It's a steampunk fantasy set in Victorian London. The characters are well developed; there are enough twists to keep you guessing and just the right amount of romance. This was another book I couldn't put down. It's killing me that the next book in the series doesn't come out for a year. I have a thousand theories and want to know the truth. Oh and I am totally team Will! ;)
Will I give up "adult" books? No. Will I stop reading young adult? Heck no! I don't like that they have to qualify them with those terms. They are books, nothing more and nothing less. They take me on a journey and like all books some are good, some are ok, some are horrid, and some...some are amazing and will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Okay. So why do I read the books that I read?
First and foremost - Have you read it lately?? There are a LOT of really good books labeled young adult. The emotions that the characters are dealing with are intense and the authors don't hold back. These books may be geared towards teenagers but they resonate with a wider age group. Mockingjay, by Suzanne Collins, (in fact the whole Hunger Games trilogy) was completely gut wrenching. There is really no other way to describe it. I truly felt like my heart was being torn out of my chest and stomped on (in a good way). I read this book in 6 hours. I couldn't put it down. Everything Katniss went through in the previous books and to have even more hurt her? To have her whole world turned upside down and ripped apart and still be as strong as she needed to be? I would pray that I could be half as strong as her. She had moments of weakness and depression but is there anyone who could go through all she did and not fall apart a few times? There is not much else I can say about this book except, if you haven't read it yet go NOW and get the series! I mean it! Stop reading my blog and go read it.
Second - I'm not a prude but it is really refreshing to read a book and not have to read a sex scene every few pages. Now, don't get me wrong. I am all for some hot and heavy scenes but not in every book and not every chapter. This is not to say that EVERY young adult book is innocent and EVERY "adult" book is full of gratuitous sex. There have been many, and I mean many, young adult books that have some HOT scenes. There is a difference though. The "adult" fiction books tends to be more descriptive which as an adult and having experienced it I don't need it spelled out for me. Leave it to my imagination. I can piece it together. The Vampire Academy books by Richelle Mead comes to mind. If I remember correctly there is only one actual sex scene but there are many implied scenes but the sensuality that flows through the entire series tends to make me think cold showers are a good thing. ;)
Third - The romance. I read plenty of "adult" books in conjunction to my young adult books and a good majority of them have romance. I have to say though that the difference tends to be that "first love". I am a sucker for it. Who can't remember that feeling. You know it. The first time you truly felt you heart would stop and the world would end if you weren't with that ONE person. It's sweet and innocent and intense. You root for it I have noticed in many "adult" books the main character is jaded. She's been in love and lost it. She tends to hold back; not willing to give her entire self over. Teen characters who are feeling it for the first time are enthusiastic and if the author is a good storyteller you feel it and it's like experiencing that rush all over again. I love Sarah Dessen books for when I need that feeling. Her characters are very real to me and always going through difficulties in their lives. Some are the same issues I remember dealing with when I was 16 and some I have never had to deal with and pray that my daughters will never have to. The love isn't easy and it doesn't automatically fix everything which I appreciate. It's truthful.
Fourth - They are FUN! They have love, death, first kisses, rip-roaring adventure, vampires, werewolves, zombies, unicorns, pirates, magic, angels, demons, warlocks, fairies, and everything else you remember from childhood. When I want to go on a trip from my youthful imagination I can count on these books. Now, that's not to say I can't go on a great adventure with an "adult" book ( hello? Outlander? Earth's Children? The Stand? Just to name a few) but I always get the feeling that they are taking themselves maybe a little too serious. It's one of the reasons I love Cassandra Clare's books. They are witty, intelligent, and the characters are snarky and sarcastic. There is enough of a pop culture feeling to them but nothing so specific that will make them feel dated anytime soon. Her latest book is Clockwork Angel. It's a steampunk fantasy set in Victorian London. The characters are well developed; there are enough twists to keep you guessing and just the right amount of romance. This was another book I couldn't put down. It's killing me that the next book in the series doesn't come out for a year. I have a thousand theories and want to know the truth. Oh and I am totally team Will! ;)
Will I give up "adult" books? No. Will I stop reading young adult? Heck no! I don't like that they have to qualify them with those terms. They are books, nothing more and nothing less. They take me on a journey and like all books some are good, some are ok, some are horrid, and some...some are amazing and will stay with me for the rest of my life.
My visit with an author
Last week I drove four hours to and from St. Louis to see an author. I love her books and really enjoyed listening to her speak. The entire night was memorable. She had a trivia challenge and being the extremely competitive person that I am, I won one of the two prizes, an advanced reader copy of Zombies vs Unicorns (oh yeah!). She signed all my copies of her books and we even had time to chat while she was signing them.
Here is where the bad part of the night came about. Yes, I got to speak with her but could I think of anything to say? No.
She didn't even ask a difficult question. Just asked what books had I read recently.
Now I read constantly. It is an integral part of my life. It is like breathing. I don't think I could go a day without reading. I generally read at least a book a day. So why couldn't I come up with an answer? Why did I stand there staring like a deer in headlights? I think I finally babbled something about Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins, but I can't really be sure.
I don't do well coming up with responses on the spot. I like being able to think things through and answer with the utmost honesty and truth, so I was extremely disappointed with myself for not coming up with a response. I hate this part of myself. I loved drama and forensics in school and even lettered in high school. I have to admit thought that the events I competed in were all scripted. I did dramatic prose, duets, and one act plays. I hated improv. I never wanted to compete it and when my teacher made me I always felt like an idiot standing there trying to force it and feeling as though nothing made sense.
After having almost a week to think about the answer I could list off dozens of books. Heck even on the ride home I came up with numerous titles I could have given her. In fact I even have a whole blog written about the books I read and why.
So knowing this about myself what can I do? Not much. Try to break through the shyness or just give an answer no matter how it may sound and be my dorky self I guess. :)
Here is where the bad part of the night came about. Yes, I got to speak with her but could I think of anything to say? No.
She didn't even ask a difficult question. Just asked what books had I read recently.
Now I read constantly. It is an integral part of my life. It is like breathing. I don't think I could go a day without reading. I generally read at least a book a day. So why couldn't I come up with an answer? Why did I stand there staring like a deer in headlights? I think I finally babbled something about Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins, but I can't really be sure.
I don't do well coming up with responses on the spot. I like being able to think things through and answer with the utmost honesty and truth, so I was extremely disappointed with myself for not coming up with a response. I hate this part of myself. I loved drama and forensics in school and even lettered in high school. I have to admit thought that the events I competed in were all scripted. I did dramatic prose, duets, and one act plays. I hated improv. I never wanted to compete it and when my teacher made me I always felt like an idiot standing there trying to force it and feeling as though nothing made sense.
After having almost a week to think about the answer I could list off dozens of books. Heck even on the ride home I came up with numerous titles I could have given her. In fact I even have a whole blog written about the books I read and why.
So knowing this about myself what can I do? Not much. Try to break through the shyness or just give an answer no matter how it may sound and be my dorky self I guess. :)
My Day...
Some days just suck.
There is nothing really wrong with the day. Nothing is actually going bad. There is not anything specific that you can point to and say "this is why" or "this is what went wrong".
Today is one of those days for me.
As a homeschooling mother of three beautiful girls I have quite a few of these days a year. My oldest daughter is struggling with math, my middle daughter is dwaddling on every assignment so that it takes twice as long as it should, and my youngest is doing fine. I love my girls dearly but today is definitely "one of THOSE days". It's the day that I question why I home school. I really don't want to check work or sit while they struggle with concepts. I'd much rather if they were in school and someone else was doing all the hard work.
Like I said before, it sucks. My allergies are killing me and I don't have the energy to deal with everything I need to deal with. I have to work tonight. I normally look forward to it and thoroughly enjoy it. I have a great job as a gymnastics coach but today...today I just don't want to go.
My mother and I have a VERY rocky relationship and today I read something she wrote on Facebook and it tore at my heart. I am dealing but it is definitely adding to the feelings of inadequacy and to the sucky day.
Now after saying all that...what will I do?
Will I hide from it all? Just go back to bed? Read a book?
No. I will move on and do all the things I really don't want to do. That's the way life works. Tomorrow will be a better day schooling my girls. We will work through all the issues. Tomorrow we will play a game to lighten the mood. My husband will help my oldest with her math. My middle daughter will eventually learn that is she speeds up she will have more time to play. My youngest will just keep chugging along. I will take a nap to help with my allergies.
I will go to work tonight and I know that my co-workers will cheer me up and seeing the kids succeed at new skills will brighten my day.
As for me and my mom...well that won't change any time soon so I will have to put those thoughts and feelings on a back burner.
As for the day...it will suck but tomorrow will be a better day and I know that more days like today will happen and I am glad. If you don't have days like these how will you appreciate the good days?
There is nothing really wrong with the day. Nothing is actually going bad. There is not anything specific that you can point to and say "this is why" or "this is what went wrong".
Today is one of those days for me.
As a homeschooling mother of three beautiful girls I have quite a few of these days a year. My oldest daughter is struggling with math, my middle daughter is dwaddling on every assignment so that it takes twice as long as it should, and my youngest is doing fine. I love my girls dearly but today is definitely "one of THOSE days". It's the day that I question why I home school. I really don't want to check work or sit while they struggle with concepts. I'd much rather if they were in school and someone else was doing all the hard work.
Like I said before, it sucks. My allergies are killing me and I don't have the energy to deal with everything I need to deal with. I have to work tonight. I normally look forward to it and thoroughly enjoy it. I have a great job as a gymnastics coach but today...today I just don't want to go.
My mother and I have a VERY rocky relationship and today I read something she wrote on Facebook and it tore at my heart. I am dealing but it is definitely adding to the feelings of inadequacy and to the sucky day.
Now after saying all that...what will I do?
Will I hide from it all? Just go back to bed? Read a book?
No. I will move on and do all the things I really don't want to do. That's the way life works. Tomorrow will be a better day schooling my girls. We will work through all the issues. Tomorrow we will play a game to lighten the mood. My husband will help my oldest with her math. My middle daughter will eventually learn that is she speeds up she will have more time to play. My youngest will just keep chugging along. I will take a nap to help with my allergies.
I will go to work tonight and I know that my co-workers will cheer me up and seeing the kids succeed at new skills will brighten my day.
As for me and my mom...well that won't change any time soon so I will have to put those thoughts and feelings on a back burner.
As for the day...it will suck but tomorrow will be a better day and I know that more days like today will happen and I am glad. If you don't have days like these how will you appreciate the good days?
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