Always Remember

I am going to repost what I posted last year.
Losing my brother this year and knowing he would never have gone in to the Army if the attacks on that day had never happened makes this year that much harder.
I will never forget and here are my memories.

I know this is a day late but I wasn't originally going to post anything. So many others have written remembrances that I didn't think mine would add anything. I realized earlier though that the more people put it out there the less likely anyone is to forget. If you are looking for any to read I highly recommend author Meg Cabot's post about 9/11. I read it every year and it always makes me break down into tears.

Here is what I remember from that day.

I was a new mom for the third time. Sleep was still a rare thing in my house so I was taking full advantage of the fact that everyone in my household was blissfully sleeping. My phone rand annoying me to no end. WHY? Why did someone have to call and wake me up?!? I was so aggravated to have to answer the phone that I was very angry when I picked it up. It was my best friend.

"Is your t.v. on?"

"No"

"Turn it ON!"

I think I might have asked her what channel, not realizing that it didn't matter.

I remember the feelings as I watched everything happen. I remember watching Katie Couric and Matt Lauer talking and behind them the first tower was falling. I remember yelling at the t.v. telling them to turn around and to shut up. I know they couldn't hear me but it was the only response I could handle at the time. My husband and I sat in complete shock and then...the other tower fell and we both started crying. We had just watched emergency workers head into those buildings. We both knew that no one was going to survive that.

I remember the phone calls that day as everyone was trying to understand what was happening. One of my friends called to ask me whether she should go get her daughters out of school. My husband's work called to say they had closed his site just to be safe. They NEVER do that.

I remember sitting watching the t.v. all day feeling numb. My oldest daughter watched with me until I realized how young she was and that she shouldn't be watching as they replayed the plane crashing footage. She was not quite 4 years old. I never let her watch violence on t.v. but it just didn't occur to me. I couldn't comprehend what was going on. I remember her asking me if a plane was going to crash here, or if it would hit Nana and Papa's house, or daddy's work. She kept asking this for weeks terrified that every time daddy went to work he might not come home. She was young but the terrorists did their job.

I remember the gas hikes, people taking advantage of our fear. We were one of those who needed gas that night as we tried to go on with our lives and keep everything as normal as possible for our kids. Luckily my husband was able to find gas at a normal price but I remember the signs for $5 a gallon and the lines as people raced to get it.

I also remember complete strangers coming together and helping each other. Seeing the flags being flown at every house. Hugs from people I had never met and will probably never see again. We made it through that day and the weeks that followed.

My brother joined the army that year like so many other young men. I remember the fear I felt for him as he left for boot camp. The relief every time I see him, even now, knowing he is alright. I am so proud of him. I don't tell him that enough. I will try to do better.

My daughters don't remember much from that day. The younger two were too young and my oldest only has vague memories and I don't know how many are truly from that day or just from things she has seen or read since.

We have now made it nine years but when I see the footage from that day or read first-hand accounts about it, it all comes flooding back. Every time. Life has moved on but we should never forget.